What Do You Say When Your Ex Boyfriend Calls You?
Are you trying to get your exboyfriend back, but not sure what to say to him? Trying to fix a break up can be really hard, especially if communication has broken down between the two of you.
Winning your ex back requires that you get him to call you, but what do you say to him when you've finally got him on the phone? Below you'll find some tips and tricks for talking with your exboyfriend.
One of the first things you'll need to do is change your attitude toward the break up. Negativity is going to hurt your cause, and it will show through in whatever you say to your ex. Purge this negativity from your mind, and get rid of it completely. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop feeling angry at anything your boyfriend might've done to cause the break up.
By making the decision to try and get back together with him, you're effectively saying that you love and support him. Don't even let your friends talk badly about him anymore, as much as they might only be doing it to make you feel better.
When you've finally reached a positive frame of mind, your exboyfriend will definitely notice. It's hard to see your own changes from within, but outwardly you'll be conveying a happiness and confidence that's very attractive to guys. It may even be one of personality traits that made your boyfriend love you in the first place. By working on yourself instead of trying to work on your broken relationship, you're giving off an aura that promotes moving forward into the future instead of wallowing back in the past.
At this point you need to wait for your ex to come to you. If you've done all the right things, he's already noticing the new you. Refusing all exboyfriend contact is the next major step. Although he's the one who ended things, your ex is still keeping tabs on where you are, what you're doing, and how you're reacting to the break up. Take this away from him by NOT calling him, text messaging him, or emailing your ex boyfriend.
Breaking Contact to Draw Your Boyfriend Back to You Quickly
The less contact you have with friends of his, the better off you'll be also. Complete radio silence will draw him out, as your ex becomes curious. He'll wonder if you're over him, and even be afraid that maybe you're moving on. Regardless of how long it's been since you dated, no man wants to see his ex-girlfriend getting on happily without him. Ego dictates that he always wants to be desired.
Eventually, your ex will make contact with you (there are some really good tips on how to do this). Maybe he'll email or text you, but you'll need to ignore those. Only when he finally calls will you talk to him, and only once you've broken contact for a few weeks or more. When you finally do pick up that phone, you have to make sure you're in the right mindset. Think tough, and think casual. Your ex is wondering why you're no longer chasing him, so now's not the time to break down happily at his phone call and profess your undying love. He'll lose interest so fast it'll make your head spin.
Instead, you want to continue keeping your exboyfriend confused. Winning back your ex requires making the break up less comfortable for them. When your boyfriend finally thinks you're about to move on, only then will he take you back. Up until the moment your ex misses and wants you again, he's going to ride the break up all the way out... maybe even to another new relationship on his part. But if there's still love in his heart for you? The fear of losing you will snap him back to his senses.
Exactly What to Say When He Finally Gets Back In Touch
What do you say when your ex boyfriend calls you? Not much. You want to keep the call extremely short, to the point, and casual. Don't be too happy to hear from him when your ex calls, but don't sound bored either. Act as if you were busy and your ex interrupted you, but you're taking the time out from whatever you were doing to talk to him anyway. Another big rule for the ex-boyfriend phone call: let him do most of the talking. Not only will it eliminate the chance of you saying something regrettable, but it'll also throw him off his game because he'll feel obligated to provide all the conversation. After all, he's the one who called.
Tell your ex something like:
"Hi, it's good to hear from you, how have things been?"
Allow your exboyfriend to make whatever small talk is necessary. He'll probably tell you why he called, so let him. Understand that you need to keep the call very short though (don't let it go more than 2 or 3 minutes), so be ready for the end of it. When there's a break or lull, tell him:
"Hey, I'm sorry I'm kind of busy. I don't really have a lot of time to talk right now. Maybe we can talk more later in the week or something, but I'm about to run".
If your boyfriend suggests another phone call, you can agree with him - but don't suggest a specific date or time yourself. If he asks where you're running off to (one of the bigger signs that your ex still isn't over your relationship) be very non-specific. Tell him you're running an errand, or whatever you feel like. Then, after you hang up? Actually go out and run some errands. It'll help clear your head.
The best part about such a conversation is how dumbfounded your exboyfriend is going to be. Up until your ex called you, he expected you to still be pining for him. Now he's not so sure. In fact, now it seems as if you might have moved on with your life, or might even be over the break up completely. This will destroy his confidence and make your ex second-guess his opinion to break up. If he was leaving the door open a crack just in case he wanted to reverse the break up, you just slammed it shut.
By getting off the phone so quickly, it feels almost as if he's now chasing you instead of the other way around. Your exboyfriend might feel a little bit rejected as well, and this is good. Again, getting your ex back is all about pushing him out of the comfortable position of power he assumed once he ended your relationship. By seizing back some of the control, he now has to consider the possibility of losing you. And if he still loves or cares for you at all, he probably won't be willing to chance it.
So what do you say to your ex when he calls? Very little. And it's not so much what you say, but the attitude and mindset you place yourself in when you say it.
Additional Help to Get Your Ex Boyfriend to Contact You
What you do immediately after your ex breaks up with you is absolute crucial. So before making any big mistakes, be sure to get all the knowledge you can.
The Magic of Making Up - by T.W. Jackson
Hands down, one person has helped reunite more couples than any other author on the internet. He's brought thousands of people back from the brink of breaking up, and helped fix things in even the most hopeless of all situations. That man is T.W. Jackson, and his approach to reversing a break up has always been hands-on.
Instead of merely talking about how to get your boyfriend back, T.W. Jackson goes above and beyond. Taking you by the hand, "T-Dub" guides you through the whole process of getting back together, using step-by-step tactics and citing multiple examples. His gentle approach and kind demaneor have helped countless women realize what they've been doing wrong, correcting their behavior and putting them right back on the path to winning their boyfriends back.
No matter which stage of reconciliation you might be stuck on, The Magic of Making Up can help you over that speed bump. Even if you haven't been able to get your boyfriend to respond to you, T.W. Jackson shows you which reconnection techniques work best at turning your ex around and reversing his current attitude toward you. In no time at all, you can have your ex responding and answering to every move you make.
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